I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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