i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
