And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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