Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
