Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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