I CAN MOONWALK!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
