did you get engaged???
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
