i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
