Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
