absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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