come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
