im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
