this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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