she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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