Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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