everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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