On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
