just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
