I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
