just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize