i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sext me about skeletons
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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