Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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