How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
