new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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