the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
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Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.