we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am