This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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