8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
