love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
