My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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