I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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