from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
