Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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