She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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