Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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