just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
