16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
