just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
