Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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