awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize