im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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