I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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