Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
