I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
