my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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