I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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