If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
