remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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