i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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