Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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