Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
