I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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