whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize