Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
