Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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