There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
