if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
