you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Less talking, more tequila
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
