WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
