She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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