I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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