whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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