Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
