i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
