I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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