your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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